Reflection on the RH’s (guest speaker) sermon today… and how fitting it was…
When you lose something dear to your heart, you do not forget. You do not forget the event, the details, the emotional feelings; It only becomes less acute with time. Losing something is a mystery of how and why it happened the way it happened. How difficult it is to mentally stay on track sometimes, and how you may break down at the most inopportune times…
It’s not how it’s supposed to be – but circumstance is what it is. It may not be how you wanted it to be, but that’s the way it happened. And no matter how much you want to will it to be otherwise, it will not be……. But like JMA’s tweet…
“There is no circumstance dat He can’t change, no hand dealt to u which He can’t win & no mistake so bad or sin so great that He can’t heal”
- if God doesn’t see fit, although he has the power to change the circumstance, he will not…
There are days when you are fine. CS Lewis says in one of his books … that we should lock up those grieving (here I would say heart broken) because it is awkward for the broken hearted and those trying to comfort him. Questions and comfort statements are awkward and sometimes you don’t know whether to pretend and give a fake answer or begin to spill your broken heart out.
Denial is a great defense magnesium. It helps us handle the pain. It delays the shock value and prevents us to enter into it all at once. The mind has a dumb sense of the vast loss. The time you take to understand the whole of the loss is God’s anesthesia to us. When the relationship rips, your lose part of your identity.
But don’t wallow in self pity, be gentle with yourself – you want to get on with your life, you want to stay positive, pretend. But you won’t be able to experience God. Brilliance of avoidance – you try to keep things light and chatty, talk about sports or movies, silliness… crutch your pain
Fatigued. How much you want to focus, want to sleep, but are unable to.
Please count your blessings… although in tough times, I know the Lord has assigned me my portion in life, he knows my limit even when you don’t know your portion, and has a cup, the Lord is my cup, my future inheritance. He is my guidance through the storm. He is leading me even in the midst of my trail. He will not leave me… he will not abandon me…
Psalm 16
- A miktam of David.
1 Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.
2 I said to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing.”
3 As for the saints who are in the land,
they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight. [b]
4 The sorrows of those will increase
who run after other gods.
I will not pour out their libations of blood
or take up their names on my lips.
5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the grave, [c]
nor will you let your Holy One [d] see decay.
11 You have made [e] known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
In the storm of my broken-ness, I find refuge in God. I will embrace the pain, because it is real, it is raw. It is reality.
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